What is self worth? In my experience it’s knowing your self and loving your self despite your so called short comings. It is also about being kind to your self and defending your self when you are being picked on or bullied. In my life I always saw the beauty in others even with their flaws but when it came to me I struggled to accept certain things about my self and was ashamed of myself.
I thought I deserved it when people picked on me and bullied me.Instead of thinking those people were insecure and they needed to put someone down to make themselves appear stronger, I thought surely it must be something I am doing.
This was partly due to my childhood and the thinking pattern I had developed. Even though I was intelligent and we’ll liked I had issues loving myself and didn’t protect myself against external attacks. The time I spent doubting and criticising my self I could have used more productively by trying to improve myself. With experience I learnt that developing my self steem and appreciation for my self should be my first priority.
Here are some advice I received over the year and have worked for me.
1. Know your strengths and congratulate your self for them
We all have strengths whether it be excellent speaking skills, writing skills, skills in sports, computer skills, singing skills or any skill that you are good at. It may seem very minor but someone else might be envious of you for what you’ve got. Sometimes it pays to write down your skills and show your self that you have alot going for you. If you struggle to come up with your own ask a friend and they will tell you what they love about you.
2. Adapt a growth mindset
Having a growth mindset means knowing that you can always grow from where you are. If you struggle in a certain area of your life you can put some effort in to that area and improve your self. For example if you struggle with public speaking push your self to develop this skill. When you put effort into developing yourself you start valuing your self more and this help boost your self steem.
3. Go easy on yourself
If you are not particularly good in a certain area but you are trying your best pat your self on the back. Congratulate your self for your effort. Know that we are our worst critic. Learn to talk to your self like how you would talk to your best friend. We all make mistakes and that is ok. It only means we are human. We can learn the lesson and keep moving forward.
4. Use affirmations
We have all seen the experiment where when you speak negativly to water what happens to the ice crystals vs when you speak positively. Similar principle applies with affirmations. Our bodies are mainly made up of water and we can use this to our advantage. Everyday take a few minutes to say some kind words to your self. Something like “I love and accept my self. I forgive myself for any past mistakes. I forgive others for hurting me. I allow universe to guide me. I am very grateful for my …..fill in the blanks”
5. Do something that you love
When we do things that we love we are much happier. When you are happy it is easy to accept and love yourself. So doing what you love whether it is dancing, painting, singing or sailing can really help boost self steem.
6. Look to yourself to make you happy
Sometimes we can look to external things to make us happy like a significant relationship. But we all know that looking for someone else to make you love yourself is a slippery slope. You will just attract another person who have issues with self steem. Much better way is to start developing your self steem and you will see that you will naturally attract people to you.
I hope these tips will help someone.
Thanks for reading.